Ateneo De Naga high school 1980

Those who do not remember history are bound to live through it again.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

fatherhood thoughts

When I was a young kid, fatherhood is such a distant possibility.

When I was a young teenager, fatherhood is something that is feared and is avoided like a plague.

After college, fatherhood is something that will happen when I reach my 30s or even 40s. 

When I got married, fatherhood is put off until we buy a house, travel the world and save a ton of money.

One morning in 1993, I stepped out of the hospital holding my first born on one arm and a bank book on the other that contained a pathetic amount.

When we arrived at our apartment, I felt at a loss on how to care for this precious angel. 

How I wished then that babies could come out and be ready for college. 

Milk! That’s it! I need to buy milk for my baby. 

I drove to a 24-hour supermarket and stood in front of a very long rack full of different milk brands. Which one do I buy? After staring for a few minutes at the rack, an old lady came by and saw me. She looked at me and said, “I can tell that you are a new father”. Feeling embarrassed, I nodded. 

The lady asked me if my baby has any health issues like allergies, etc. I told the lady that I don’t know. I was not able to call my wife from the store because I did not own a cell phone back then because they were expensive and not a lot of people own them. I ended up bringing home about 2-3 grocery bags full of different milk products. 

During the first evening, I sat next to my son’s crib checking on him every 30 minutes to make sure he is breathing.

I have two teenage children now but I still wake up at night to make sure that they are alright. 

A few minutes ago, I asked myself this question: Is fatherhood a job? a task? a role? a journey? or a title? 

I don’t know if I can really define fatherhood. To me, fatherhood is the peace and happiness that I feel whenever I see my children safe in the morning and are ready for a new day to learn how to build their own careers and accept the possibility that they too will become parents. 

Happy father’s day.


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